Closure

Cabaret is all finished. We had the wrap party last night.

I am certainly relieved to have the opportunity to catch up on some much-needed sleep and chocolate eating.

I feel grateful to TP and MS for their patience and flexibility, granting me the freedom to be in that show. I look forward to diving back into work and contributing to the amazing teams of which I am a part.

In the thick of the production I learned not to read into other people's actions so much. My fault of self-centeredness became glaringly obvious to me. I had the chance to practice looking at several situations from a different perspective. I "crisis bonded" with a few good souls. I could have closed and locked a door; but I think I may have left it unlocked, if not open just a crack. This is a tiny town with an even smaller theatre community, after all!

Of course time will tell who, if anyone, might remain a friend now that we have no specific show-related reason to keep in touch. There are some with whom I believe I have little in common. I wish them well on their journey. There are others whose company I may miss.

I'm moving on and feeling optimistic about my possible involvement with A Day in Pompeii and the 2010 Sevens!

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot & Ebullience

Open note to a hater:

Hmmm, what's the most diplomatic way to say this? I've been treated like crap my fair share of times; but I can't say that I've felt quite that slighted in more than a decade. I've just remembered why I'm not inclined to hang out with people who are or act 8 unless I'm getting paid. Forgive me if I'm wrong but, during the run of a show, isn't creating dissension in a cast basically artistic suicide? Silly me, I forgot that you have no actual experience in the business and exist solely to get as smashed as you can at every opportunity and boast about it. So, I'll attempt to rise above this mere pebble in my path and focus on the fact that I already had plans, anyway.

Open note to someone amazingly, superlatively gorgeous:

OK, please try not to get a big head. My opinion is just based on a rudimentary observation; I could be mistaken. I can tell you though, that I haven't cared this much about how I look in a long time. I'd also like to thank you for reinspiring me to figure out what I can contribute to humanity. Most cheesy classic love songs' lyrics could be quoted here; but I don't know that my interest is other than platonic.

Frankly, I'm a bit confused about and afraid of my present inability to release you from my thoughts. I don't want to jinx my quest to redirect my energy, but I believe I might be letting go, little by little.

In the meantime, your surprised expression is my favorite. I am blown away by your insightful and articulate writing. Of course, the overall way you carry yourself and move is what first caught my eye. You appear so clean and effortless; yet somehow you simultaneously exude this indescribable, all-inclusive, creative, happy energy. I guess that's the evidence of your practice and great skill. You seem confident enough to just be your intelligent, abundantly joyous self. I really admire you for that.

Thanks for letting me be a part of your life for a minute!

Epic exchange

She: I have an addiction with those initials, too.

He: You do? What does yours stand for?

She: The boy's name.

He: The Gay?

She: Hey, there's no reason to narrow him down to that. There are so many other reasons my liking him is inappropriate, i.e., his age, his exhibitionism, etc.

He: Well my addiction isn't inappropriate. It was my turn.

She: OK, then. It should be my turn, too. *begins to sing* The boy is mine (with echo bv's: mine, mine). Don't waste your time. The doggone boy is mine...

He: You can't bring Michael Jackson into this, especially since it is a situation involving a boy.

She: *rather sheepishly* Hmmm, I guess you're right. Thank goodness MJ sang, "The girl is mine..."

He: Thank goodness, indeed.

~I love you, MJ. You were definitely gone too soon.~

Stage Productions & Movies

How much do they echo real life? Am I mostly just escaping from the responsibilities I face? I find so many characters to whom I can relate; I'm sure that's often (if not, always) the director's aim. When I wonder where my place is, I can easily dive into the setting of a great show or flick and chill out with the leads; I rarely feel ostracized there. Interesting...


Can be sung to the tune of "Movies Were Movies"


Watching the stage and the screen
Gives me time to believe

In the Heights, Wicked, Cars,
Wall-E and All about Eve

Heroines Juno and Elle
Misanthropes trapped in a cell

Don't let reality stifle
The tales that they weave!

I feel like I know you; but then I guess that's the point...

Some stage and screen heroines to whom I can relate, for various reasons:

Elphaba Thropp, Wicked - Misunderstood!

Sandy Olsson, Grease - Identity crisis

Gabriella Montez, High School Musical - Tries not to prioritize a relationship, out of fear of being left with nothing

Euphegenia Doubtfire, Mrs. Doubtfire - (OK, yeah, not really a woman) Willing to think outside the box to be with kids

Lilli Vanessi 'Katharina', Kiss Me, Kate - Accepts being "tamed" with grace and dignity

Dorcas Gailen, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers - Old school values

Nina Rosario, In the Heights - Wants to figure out who she's supposed to be, without disappointing anyone

Juno MacGuff, Juno - Turns what might have been a mistake into an adventure

Summer Finn, 500 Days of Summer - Has to admit that her whole theory of relationships was wrong

Julie Powell, Julie & Julia - Finds her winning formulas

Clarice Starling, The Silence of the Lambs - Doesn't let disgust or fear stop her

Donna Sheridan, Mamma Mia - Free-spirited and down to Earth

Lani Aliikai, Surf's Up - Well, she's a penguin - I mean, a lifeguard; I can relate to that

Wendy Darling, Peter Pan - Good babysitter & big sister

Elle Woods, Legally Blonde - Steadfast optimism

Eliza Doolittle, My Fair Lady - Pulls herself out of the gutter (with a bit of help)

Coraline Jones, Coraline - Brave kid who is smart enough to seek help in the right places

Sally Albright, When Harry Met Sally - Classic love story heroine?

Mary, Something about Mary - There's just something about her... Can stand up to her stalkers

Maria, Sound of Music - Finds her home and rises to meet the requirements

Beatrice Ann 'Bebe' Benson, A Chorus Line - Splendid dancer, perseveres

Jessie (Yodeling Cowgirl), Toy Story - On a mission to meet her obligations

Carol Connelly, As Good as it Gets - In search of a "normal" boyfriend

Arwen, Lord of the Rings - Dang good horseback rider

Vivian Ward, Pretty Woman - Maintains hope, in spite of huge odds stacked against her

Satine, Moulin Rouge - Tragic beauty

Maggie, In Her Shoes - Turns her shady ways around and begins taking responsibility

Natalie, Love Actually - Not afraid to hit on the Prime Minister!

Helen Parr (Elastigirl), The Incredibles - Powerful, loving mother and wife

Princess Leia Organa, Star Wars - Gorgeous, graceful and brave

A few quotes that resonate with me:

"People put you down enough, you start to believe it." - Pretty Woman

"It's like the sun shines on you, and it's glorious. And then he forgets you and it's very, very cold."

"When you have his attention you feel like you're the only person in the world. That's why everybody loves him so much." - The Talented Mr. Ripley

"Do you have any control over how creepy you allow yourself to get?" "Yes I do. And to prove it, I have not gotten personal and you have."

"You make me want to be a better man." - As Good as it Gets

Extended Status Update

Anna likes writing about herself in the third person. Recently, she was asked to submit her highly abridged bio for an upcoming production's programme. She enjoyed composing it.

Anna loves so many people, places and things. Yesterday was a gorgeous day; the sunshine reminded her just how blessed she truly is.

Today the wind blew, again, and she felt frustrated, apathetic, obsessed, weak, and pessimistic. Somehow she managed to go all the places she was supposed to go and be there for the people who were depending on her. She realises this is no inconsequential triumph. Yet, she thinks she can relate to Emo people, today. Is there really any reason she should feel down, in the least? She can think of absolutely none.

Why does she have so much trouble aborting or ignoring certain quests? She finds that she must retry, over and over. Many other illogical ideas she has no trouble seeing for what they are!

Today's revelation, nay, epiphany even, had to do with being able to relate to John Lennon's famous statement that, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." She wonders if there's anything (besides her consistently messy room, perhaps) that isn't in a permanent state of flux.

Anna has been sick nearly all winter (for about four months), without more than a couple of weeks of solid health. In spite of that fact, she has made an effort not to stop and wallow too much (yes, possibly delaying her recovery). Even when she feels that she is just going through the motions of life, without passion, she is glad to have shown up.

She is beginning to accept the idea that she is unlikely to find anything approaching a "normal" love relationship. Judging from the "average" people she has known though, she is able to see this probability as another blessing she ought to treasure.