I feel frustrated by my current circumstances and impatient with myself for not being able to accept them.
Compared to many people (probably hundreds of thousands, at least) I have a pretty fantastic life. I support myself, and I have time to participate in live theatre projects on the side. I get to work with amazingly creative people in a really stable business.
Somehow that's not good enough for me. For one thing, I have identified a bad habit of seeking companionship from unavailable people. Secondly, logic tells me that comparing myself to others is fruitless, at best. Nonetheless, I do.
Fortunately (and unfortunately), I grew up in an incredibly caring family. It's only unfortunate in the sense that I haven't seemed to be able to drop the high standards of respect I learned. Out in the "real world" I find that many people (probably hundreds of thousands, at least) don't treat each other so well.
Therefore, I seek to trade loneliness for solitude, sometimes. Tomorrow's a new chance to find some more patterns that fit.
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